PRAYER PRIMER: Church and Family

Thoughts: As a husband and father, I found this section of Dubay’s book specifically helpful. Let me share with you some of his words that struck a chord with me: “Just as in a convent or monastery, a prayerful atmosphere is one that is penetrated with love for God and for others, so also in the marriage community . . . No harsh words, no nagging, no raising of voices, no quarreling – and generous forgiveness when there is a slip . . .If there is conflict or harshness in the routine of daily life, all of us (children included) find incongruity, if not pain, in trying to shift gears into something as sublime as conversing with the Lord” (page 119). How true! I remember with sadness how jolting it is to begin breakfast with “in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit” after arguing with Christelle or wrestling with my daughters to wash their hands before the meal. Sometimes, as Dubay writes, it is even painful. How terrible that family prayer should be painful! This observation of Dubay, reminds me that thoughtless and angry words have far reaching consequences, especially in my home, my domestic church. May God grant peace and holiness to all our homes.

Questions for discussion:
When is prayer painful for you? for others?

Dubay puts emphasis on the communal aspects of prayer, especially the Church’s liturgical prayer. Why is this so?

PRAYER PRIMER: Interpersonal Union/Intimacy

Thoughts: So, here we are for the second part of Prayer Primer by Fr. Dubay. I was anticipating the two chapters in this section, “Mental Prayer” and “Contemplation” because, although I had heard about these two types of prayer for a while, I really didn’t know what they were. Now, after having read both chapters, I understand mental prayer, but still don’t quite understand contemplation.

I would like to share an insight I had while reading the chapter on Mental Prayer. As I read Dubay’s “formula” for mental prayer on pages 70-71, I realized that I had practiced precisely what he described when, as an evangelical, I was taught how to have a “quiet time”. For evangelicals, a “quiet time”, is time set apart, alone, in which to read and study scripture, pray quietly, and make an application to your life. The only difference I could discern between Dubay’s description of mental prayer and an evangelical quiet time is that Dubay opens up the food for meditation beyond scripture alone into the areas of creation/nature, and spiritual reading. Evangelicals, of course, tend to only meditate on scripture (and this is not a bad thing). After making this connection, mental prayer became completely understandable to me, since I had been doing it since my high school days as an evangelical. Thank the Lord for this early training I received.

No such insights came to me as I read the chapter on contemplation. I think this topic requires some contemplative experience and further reading for understanding.

Questions for discussion:
Did you recognize your prayer practices in Dubay’s descriptions of vocal, mental, and contemplative prayer? What were they?

What did you think contemplative prayer was before you read Dubay’s chapter on it?